Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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