Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
