i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
