Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
