Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
