I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
