I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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