How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
