butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
