I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
