Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize