wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
