therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
