i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
