I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
