I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
