we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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