Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
