in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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