Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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