Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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