Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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