Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
