They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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