I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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