end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
