how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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