And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize