i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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