I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
