I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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