so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
