I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Four minutes until I can fart!
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize