Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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