There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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