He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize