Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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