Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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