Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I can text with my tongue
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
