He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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