i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
my poor anus
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Congratulations! We have a period
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
