Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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