Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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