brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
