were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
