you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
