In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
