I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
