haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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