Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Randomize
