there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
