Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize