He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
