she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
