She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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