After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
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