you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
