It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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