I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just forgot I was standing up.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
