Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
