please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
