two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
