He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
