didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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