you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
