I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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