someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
