fuck your aforementioned shoe
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize