You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize