All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
