i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
