he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
