Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize