woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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