now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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