I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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