Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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