this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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