Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
