no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
